Pornography is a pervasive shadow in our modern world. It wields a destructive power that impacts individuals, relationships, and our connection with God. However, through understanding its nature, seeking God’s grace, and embracing practical strategies, we can step out of this darkness and into the light of freedom and wholeness.

There are a couple texts that would benefit the readers at the outset of this article.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20: “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but whoever sins sexually sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.”

Matthew 5:28: “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”  

Romans 12:2: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

The Shadows Reach:

Deception and Destruction

One of the great damaging facets of pornography is that it presents a distorted view of sex and relationships. Sex is a good thing, a God given blessing to people who have committed themselves to one another in holy matrimony. Pornography takes that which God intended to bless holy unions and degrades it into an unholy, sinful lie that is devoid of every good thing that He intended.

Pornography depicts sex devoid of a real relationship. A couple is committed to one another and connected to one another. Married couples share this vulnerability and intimacy that is intended to bless their relationship. Sex within the marriage bond is a sweet and safe expression of love and devotion to one’s partner. It is healthy and good. Pornography offers a fleeting illusion of intimacy without the real connection, responsibility, and demands of a true relationship.

The Bible records for us the first real problem within the home. In Genesis 3, Adam and Eve sinned against God, got kicked out of their house, and cursed for their transgression. They literally lost it all (Genesis 3:6-24). The one thing they still had in all of the chaos was each other. They didn’t run and file for divorce, “and Adam knew Eve his wife: and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord” (Genesis 4:1). They had sex! And it was holy, and sanctioned by God, and produced the very thing He intended, connection and children.

God has blessed the marriage bed with sex despite all of the trails and hardships of life. But pornography depicts an illusion, a curated and unrealistic façade that is so damaging. Sex as God intended is a deeply rewarding blessing even through all the messes of an authentic relationship.

Erosion of Relationships

Pornography use creates unrealistic expectations in sexual intimacy. Men and women with certain physical appearances and endowments become harmful to the psychological wellbeing of the person who views porn. A man may start to be self-conscious of his inability to perform like the person on the video, or the woman may feel inadequate because she doesn’t look like the girls in the videos.

Once again, these situations are fantasized and unrealistic. They often shoot these movies over the course of hours and hours, and then edit them to a finished production. All the while, the “regular Joe” is no wiser to those facts and judges him/her self harshly. This attack on self-image is so damaging to the real-life relationship that God wants us to foster with our spouse.

Sex starts in the brain. Sex, while a physical act, is very much a mental, physiological and emotional activity. Pornography erodes at the neurological level and attacks the psyche and emotions causing men and women problems with performance in real life. Pornography causes such a dopamine dump, and the reward center for the brain gets rewired and dependent, not on an actual human being ready to engage, but a TV or cell phone screen, portraying a lie. This is an outright detriment to real human relationships.

Because of the addictive nature of pornography, those addicted to it often trade the real connection and satisfaction with their spouse for alone time in the shadows with a porn. That relationship is essentially dead, or in serious need of intervention and help.

Detachment from God 

The Bible presents humanity in a positive light. Mankind is made “in the image of God” (Genesis 1:26-27). The Bible challenges us to love one another and seek the best for each other. It calls us to think purely and soberly (John 13:34-35; Ephesians 4:32; Philippians 2:3-4; 4:8; Romans 12:3). Pornography destroys human dignity and worth. It takes people made in Gods image and with immense value, and turns them into mere objects for ones sexual and animalistic gratification. This is contrary to godly values. It is antithetical to Christianity.

Pornography fosters lust, which according to Jesus is sin (Matthew 5:28). This forms a barrier between the person consuming pornography and God (Isaiah 59:1-2). It causes feelings of guilt, shame, and condemnation which hinder spiritual growth and an intimate relationship with God.

Overcoming the Darkness

Stepping out of the shadow.

The Bible is clear, “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).

The very first step toward stepping out of the shadows of the destruction of pornography is to recognize and acknowledge it. This is the time to be vulnerable about the issue. There can be no healing or hope apart from honesty and openness about the matter. Listen to the scriptures, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

Sometimes, self-help, looks like journaling about the problem, the temptation, and keeping record of those things. This can be a great way to get things off your chest and to keep track of your improvement in the future. Maybe the individual needs some help from a counselor or other professional/preacher. The most important step is to honestly recognize it, and the next most important step is to do something about it.

Secondly, an individual seeking to overcome the plight of pornography needs to focus their attention on heavenly things, spiritual things. Pornography creates deeply engrained triggers and thought patterns that can be overcome. This is possible when one replaces the sinful with the scriptures. A person must replace the bad thoughts and desires with God honoring thoughts and desires. Listen to the scriptures, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).

Down time can be the Devils time. “Idle hands are the Devils workshop.” Thus, it is imperative to fill each day with prayer, scripture memorization, devotion or meditation on biblical truths, and being intentional with consuming edifying content.

An Ounce of Prevention > A Pound of Cure

If an individual is going to be successful in overcoming any addictive behavior, especially pornography, they will have to make preparation to succeed. A failure to plan is a plan to fail. Creating clear boundaries and implementing practical safeguards is crucial to prevent relapse. This includes limiting access to triggering content and seeking accountability with trusted individuals. Website filters, content blockers, and maybe even an accountability app that a trusted friend has access to… Your soul is worth every effort in overcoming this plague.

Overcoming pornography is not solely a matter of willpower but requires reliance on God’s grace and forgiveness. Recognizing our dependence on Him empowers us to break free from its grip. Pornography doesn’t have to be the end of the world. It can be put away. It can be overcome. You can live in the light of Gods love and grace. You do not have to live with guilt and feelings of inadequacy that porn consumption creates. “Whom the Son sets free is free indeed” (John 8:36). Sin is powerful, but Christ and faith is more. Listen to the scriptures, “Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world; this is the victory that overcomes the world, even our faith” (1 John 4:4; 5:4).

If we at the Eastside Church of Christ can be of assistance to you in any matter, please bless us with the opportunity to serve you.

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